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  1. #16
    Dedicated Scrapper RED HEAD's Avatar
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    Elaine, I feel for you and your mom..
    It doesn't take much to inform someone that they are not going home!
    She must have been frantic, poor woman.
    I also reiterate what Susie said. It's a hard thing to go through, whatever
    the age. My mom was only58, and I took that really, really hard.
    My dad was in a care home for the last 3 months of his life, because he needed
    proper nursing care, which we couldn't do anymore.
    He was in and out of hospital too, and like your mom, they couldn't get him out quick enough.
    Last time he came out on Tuesday to the care home, and he died on Thursday!!!
    So much for hospital care.
    I hope they sort your moms cough, and she is feeling better.
    Ellie

  2. #17
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    You're going to love this one Ellie, they actually asked me as we were going down to the ambulance to take dad home (finally) if he died on the way, where did I want them to take him?

    Prior to that we had an occasion when dad couldn't be roused for hours. I got to the home and finally the doctor turned up and asked me if I had any plans. I thought he was asking about holidays! Turned out he meant, did I want dad to be resuscitated if it came to it. He'd been unresponsive for hours and the moment he was put in the ambulance and they gave him oxygen he just opened his eyes and said 'Hello Love'.

    I think that is why to this day I have a completely warped sense of humour. Having to deal with all manner of things such as I've mentioned means that if you don't laugh you would simply lose your sanity.

    I am sorry to hear that you also lost your mum when she was so young Ellie. We were lucky with dad to be able to do the nursing care at home with lots of medical help but that was also in part because there was so much more money for social care then. Dad wanted to die when he was in hospital and refused to take his meds. but he would take them from me. As soon as we brought him home he said "Oh well, I suppose I'd better fight then!":roll eyes: The funding has been slashed so much now and yet they are all for having elderly parents looked after at home but won't give the NHS or the councils the money to enable people to do that. On top of that, making people work until later in life is only going to exacerbate the problem.

    Our council is going to be broke soon due to government cuts and they want to put up the council tax again just to help pay for social care. You have to laugh at the idea of a Northern PowerHouse and the council is going bust!

    Sorry, off the soapbox now, it's just that I get so angry for all the good hearted people such as you Elaine, trying to do right by your mum and not being given the help you need.

  3. #18
    Chatty papercrafter elainevking's Avatar
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    Don't start me off!
    I'm so appalled by these stories...
    Today I was queueing to get into the hospital car park to visit Mum and I received a call on my mobile asking where we were..and how long would we be before we collect her! We hadn't got any clothes with us..hadn't got any food in for her etc etc. Luckily DS2 was with me so while I continued queuing her went in and got her ready to go.. We had to put an extra dressing gown over her legs while we wheeled her to the car! We didn't have her wheelchair with us as we weren't expecting to bring her home..so as they don't normally allow wheel chairs out of the hospital..a porter had to accompany us to the car to make sure we didn't run off with it! I was stunned!
    We just got home and three carers turned up in the doorstep..no notice whatsoever. Chucked out of hospital and no warning..then Social Services there.. with no warning!
    Don't get me wrong... I'm delighted we've got a care package in place..even if it is for only five days.. But we didn't know what the hell was going on!
    I then had to rush off and buy provisions too..I left here at 1pm to visit and got back home at 8.30 pm. What on earth would have happening if she didn't have family?
    Sorry for the rant! A very frustrating day!
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  4. #19
    Dedicated Scrapper RED HEAD's Avatar
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    Oh Susie, that's horrible. How could they be so heartless.
    That brought a tear to my eye, how your Dad came round and said
    Hello love, to you. I can imagine your relief....

    The hospital did want to send my dad home, and get careers in, but he was too frail.
    He had bowel cancer and was practically bed bound. So we found a home
    near us that did nursing care, and got him in there. Then 2councils were
    arguing about who was going to contribute , so my brother and I told them
    to get stuffed, and we would pay!!!!
    It does make you angry , all the cuts the council make, especially when you
    see some of the things that they spend the money on!!
    I agree about the Northern Powerhouse, it's just a new buzz word for the
    MPs to throw around.
    Ellie

  5. #20
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    Elaine... I'm speachless, and believe me ,that's unusual!!!!!
    What a farce, I hope that you are going to complain to the hospital.
    That's so degrading for your mom.
    I bet she is glad that she's home at last. As for social services!!....
    It's a bit like buses, isn't it? None for ages, and then 3 come at once.
    Keep your chin up.
    Ellie

  6. #21
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    Do you know Elaine, I would say unbelievable, except that it all sounds so horribly familiar. In answer to your question about what happens if they don't have family, she would have been stuck in a home or at least that's what used to happen. They have certain places linked to the hospitals to take them or they used to, heaven knows what happens now.

    Always remember these words to throw at them 'You have a duty of care' and that covers many scenarios.

    Off to bed now and I hope you are managing to get some rest Elaine. At least discussing these types of problems that we have all been through will hopefully help you avoid the next crackpot idea thrown at you, or at least help you deal with it in a manner which suits you and not the 'authorities'. Mind you, I do feel sorry for some of these nurses, they must be in an impossible situation because it is the people above them who make these decisions.

  7. #22
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    So sorry to read all this Elaine. I wish I had something helpful I could add. Sending you lots of positive thoughts and strength. xx


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  8. #23
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    That is so frustrating Elaine. Weve also had it many times - they say come and collect mum then when you get there you have to wait to be signed off, wait for her to be seen by physio, wait for medication, or simply someone else has seen her and said that she shouldn't go. I had to rush to collect her once when the ward had sickness and they wanted her out so she didn't catch it but we then had to wait several hours for her meds !!
    The communications between different departments is also very poor, why can't they all look at the same notes and see the overall picture
    my mum always complained about the carers - never came at the right time, never did anything ! But she wouldn't ask them to do anything she had her routine and found it difficult that someone couldn't be there when she wanted to get up, eat or whatever. We are having the same trouble in the home she is now in - she is struggling to wait for someone to help her with her needs, but they can't be everywhere at once,
    I really don't look forward to being at that stage in life myself, it must be so difficult after a lifetime of being independant.
    It is reassuring to hear of you all having similar experiences, and I'm keeping DD in the loop so she knows what to expect with us in the future
    hey, all we can do is our best to make sure they get the best help they need, but it is very difficult, we are struggling as mum is in a different county to us and we are having to sort things out from a distance a lot of the time !
    Hope mum settles this week with the carers and something permanent can be worked out x
    Alison



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  9. #24
    Chatty papercrafter elainevking's Avatar
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    Thanks all. I considered complaining but to be honest it's not worth it. I just wrote a three page letter of complaint to her GPs for their incompetence..it took me half a day to draft and edit and I got a similar size letter back explaining they are short staffed, overworked, unable to sign new recruits etc etc..lots of excuses but in a nut shell they aren't going to change one thing about what she went through..it's just not worth the stress. They completely missed her tethered lymph node..which is sinister, and now they say unless they get her water down its not worth investigating. What they mean is she's likely to die anyway so why bother? It's so sad.
    Trying to handle your Mums affairs from afar must be hard Alison. It's bad enough for me..I'm about an hour away from Mum. The worse part is the drive around the M25 each way.
    Anyway..Enough of ailing parents..I'm trying not to think about when we get to that age!
    Has anyone actually had time to make any cards? I made all mine but because I find crafting makes me relax and unwind afterwards..although even 60 wasn't enough..I needed more, so I've been and bought them now..I'm cross with myself that I caved in! Lol
    I just need to knuckle down and make my family ones now. I think I'll drag the Cameo out for those this year.
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  10. #25
    Dedicated Scrapper RED HEAD's Avatar
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    I agree Elaine, if it's going to cause you stress, then it's not worth it
    But on the other hand, the doctors are getting away with being incompetent.
    It's no excuse to say they are short staffed, that's pathetic!!
    i think they see old people as a problem, and think of the monetary value
    of treating older folks. Doctors practices and the NHS are run as a business now,
    not a caring vocation...
    That's not to say that all practises are like that, but it's all budget based IMO!!

    You must know a lot of people to have to make 60 cards, and then some!
    I have made all mine for family ,friends and neighbors, and it only adds
    up to about half that
    I have one in mind for this month, but haven't got around to doing it yet.
    I'm going to be busy this weekend, so maybe i'll get it done afterwards.
    Ellie

  11. #26
    Dedicated Scrapper RED HEAD's Avatar
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    Christmas

    A card with cute animal
    I used blush pink, pale blue and white.
    Ellie
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  12. #27
    Chatty papercrafter elainevking's Avatar
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    That's very sweet!
    I made three more..one in pink..although, I admit, not blush pink..it's an easel card..should have photographed it upright!
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  13. #28
    Chatty papercrafter elainevking's Avatar
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    Then one featuring some more pink..and my take on the 'woodland' themed images
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  15. #29
    Chatty papercrafter elainevking's Avatar
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    Then, finally, one I made and I wanted to share, even though it doesn't really match the theme..although I guess you can say I was inspired by the trees in the samples... Lol
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  17. #30
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    It must be extra hard for you Alison if your mum isn't even living in the same county. I was also thinking along the same lines as you that after a lifetime of being independent it must be awful having other people making decisions for you. As long as possible, we tried to encourage dad make decisions about his own care and prompt him gently in the right direction, none of us want to be told what to do.

    Gorgeous cards ladies, your penguin is just adorable Ellie.

    I can see you've been busy as usual Elaine. I love the little bird in the nest of branches and the tree made from the same punch, such a great idea and really good way to use what I think is a lovely punch.

    Nothing from me at present. We seem to be doing a lot of running around and it would be nice to have a day in and get some crafting done. I have lots of bits and pieces printed or die cut but not a thing assembled. At present I'm trying to sort out my neighbour's energy switch, just need a good deal to switch him to!

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